What does your Health have to do with Marriage?

I was doing some web surfing regarding health and wellness and came across and interesting article that says, "Marriage may be out of fashion but it still confers considerable benefits to adults and children, according to a comprehensive study on the state of the family. "

Well, that seems obvious. I came from a solid family with a married mom and dad. It was beneficial, no doubt.

It goes on to say, "The Office for National Statistics has published definitive proof that married couples live longer, enjoy better health and can rely on more home care in old age than their divorced, widowed, single and cohabiting peers. Children who live with their married parents are also healthier, and can expect to stay in full-time education for longer, whatever their economic background. "

So lets take a look at this more deeply shall we?

I've been in practice, treating patients for 13 years now, this week! It is my practice anniversary!!

Quite a few patients tell me of how stressed they are having to deal with their kids, the kids schedules, the spouse, etc. They are certainly stressed out!

But you know what, they respond to care a lot faster than their counterparts.

Quite a few single patients seem lost, old and young. Divorcees are another case entirely. Ones who remarry are back into the marriage category. They respond well.

I don't see this lost look in the married patients, especially in the married patients who come in together, regardless of whether they both get treated or not. They are considerably happier people, when they come together to the office. It's a sure blast to work with married families. They are more fun to be with!

Now all of you, my patients, who read this, don't think I'm pointing the finger at you. I did say, "quite a few", but not "all." It is an observation that can explain what the news story has to say.

I have many families who come in for care, sometimes 3 generations of the same family!

These are strong, stable families and they all seem to respond well to the care that is given in my clinic.

On the contrary, the single or divorcees, struggle. It's something I've never looked at until reading this article and the evidence around me is overwhelmingly true.

You see, I was a single guy for 38 years, until I took that leap of faith last year.

As a single guy, I thought I had it all. I had a great career, drove the Porsche, the Hummer, dated around and did what a single guy is supposed to do. But I was not that happy when it came down to laying my head on the pillow at night. Something was missing.

It was a lot of fun, but you know, it can't even shake a stick at seeing my daughter and my wife sleeping face to face holding hands the morning after her birth, or seeing my daughter smile. It just melts my heart!

Driving a Porsche 135mph was quite a thrill. Windsurfing in 25 knot wind in the Outer Banks was a BIGGER THRILL!! Even going on all kinds of dates with many women had it moments.

But all of them combined do not even compare to having a child fall asleep in your arms. Nothing compares. Well, my wedding day compares but nothing in my singledom compares.

Now things aren't all bells and whistles or peaches and cream. There are the sleepless nights, the crying, the skin and diaper rashes, the teething, they are part and parcel of raising a child. You simply find a way to deal with it.

But seeing my daughter stand up for the 1st time without holding on to anything, and waving her arms and smiling............that is truly priceless.

It is these types of experiences that are one of the keys to Being Truly Well. Driving that Porsche too!

So if marriage and kids is a key to your health and happiness, why are so many people getting divorced nowadays?

Well, with marriage and kids, comes HUGE RESPONSIBILITY, even without the kids.

You have to be responsible for another human being.

Being single is being responsible for your self. That is easy.

I'm an avid exerciser. I love to train for triathlons. It is a blast. But now I have the health of a wife and of a child and they all need exercise too. That requires some skillful planning to get everyone exercising.

Kids by the way, develop their brains by MOVING and need to move and move and move and move and after that, move some more! So play with them, wrestle with them and get them moving. We have an epidemic obesity issue in this country, a topic for a future blog. Research proves that movement is key and yet schools are cancelling extracurricular and video games that only move the thumbs are not good. At least the Wii folks have figured it out.

I love making nutritional smoothies with all kinds of powders and liquids that is like the art of cooking. Finding out what is good for me is easy. A child is a different story with new challenges.

Its work no doubt but it has to be done.

I've found out the hard way that things won't just happen in a family without finding out what each other needs and wants and just doing it. It requires blood, sweat and tears to make this thing go and especially 1 magical thing. COMMUNICATION.

Communication is where any relationship is made or broken. A relationship with your team at work, with your sports team, with your spouse or child or that relationship with that person in the mirror at 6 am in the morning after a sleepless night of baby crying.

When my wife and I are together, communicating, my daughter is the most alert and happy that I have seen her. It doesn't matter if the communicating is about happy things or not so happy things, she is just more content and happy then than when she is alone with just one of us. Weird, but it is how she reacts.

She had an allergic reaction to an organic milk formula at about 5 months of age and we had to rush her to the hospital to make sure she was ok. She was pretty calm when we got there and so we had to wait for hours to be seen. But Ema was getting happier and happier as she rested and hung out with her mommy and daddy and got the only food that was available to her, directly from mommy, for hours. By the time we were seen by the ER Doc, Ema was laughing and smiling and crawling all over the place like nothing happened. The doctor was puzzled why she was even there.

So, what was the diagnosis? Mom working, Dad working and not spending much time together as a family unit with Ema.

No, that wasn't what we were told by the Doctor, but it was plain obvious to me as I could do nothing but spend time with my wife and daughter for hours while we waited.

Ema, like any kid does, wanted her mommy and daddy, together in the same room, focusing on being a family.

It is that close bond and good communication that raises your spirits and your health. Research even proves that our physiology changes with a hug or a kiss from a loved one

How does that old saying go? Together we rise, divided we fall?

Communicate we rise, Don't and we fall. Our bodies fall, our marriages fall, our businesses fall, we all fall.

It doesn't matter if we did something really bad to another, TELL THEM. If they truly care about you, they will forgive you, but it may take a little more than roses to patch it up.

There is an exchange that must be in place for any relationship to work.

Do something bad and you have to do something really good to make up for it.

Try and hide what you did and you'll just grow farther apart from each other, hoping that they don't find out.

This principal works in health. Make the wrong choices about your health and you have a lot to do to make up for it. If you don't, you will slowly die a little bit each day.

These are universal principles. They work whether you like it or not.

It is better to communicate than to block it out and hope it will go away.

I forget the name of the author, but she said in a book and at a seminar that trying to hide something you did is like pushing a beach ball under the water. It's not easy to do and it will rear its ugly head when you don't want it!

This is why drugs are NOT THE ANSWER to your, my or anyone's health. They STOP THE COMMUNICATION within the body or with your past or problems.

So you have a person in your house with your family at gun point. Take all the drugs you want to block out the anxiety and fear. Where will that get you?

Ok Dr. West, that's kind of harsh.

Well, if you have a trouble in your marriage or your job, you did something wrong and regret it but fear you will hurt the other by telling them.

Take all kinds of drugs to block that fear out. It will only lead down the path to arguments and worse things and eventually will tear that relationship apart.

If you have pain. Drugs cut the communication line. They dull it. Your nervous system is a 80% input, 20% output system. It REQUIRES COMMUNICATION to all parts of the body and the outside world in order to survive. Dull this communication network with drugs and it will die a little bit each day and with it goes the body.

The body needs to communicate with each and every cell and the outside world.

You need to communicate with your past, no matter how hard that past may be, to get beyond it. There are safe, drug free methods of doing this, that will be covered in a later blog. Taking a drug to block that pain will only create the "beach ball effect." That pain will rear its ugly head when you least expect.

Look at all the school shootings that have occurred in the past 5 years. They didn't exist when I was a teenager, 20 years ago. It's a recent phenomenon. So is prescription drugs use for emotional pain. In high school we drank beer. Some did pot or other illicit drugs. Today, you can get a prescription for something that 4 out of 5 drug users prefer over the illegal brand. A study was done with Ritalin. Drug abusers preferred its high to cocaine!!!

School violence and people going "postal" is a simple result of taking drugs to block the pain that only buries the real cause and solves nothing. Keep taking the drug to push and push on that beach ball and something will break

If you think I'm a bit off my rocker, do a simple Google search on school violence and psychotropic drug use. You will find insurmountable evidence that the 2 are linked. Of course you will also find sites saying there is no link but if you look at who is saying that, it is the ones who prescribe or make or support or use the drugs.

Natural laws are laws. You can't violate them.

So to Be Truly Well requires being married, taking responsibility for it, having kids, taking responsibility for them and not forgetting yourself in the equation. You cannot be responsible for anything for long if you don't take responsibility for yourself. But you won't get far if you only take responsibility for yourself, though it is better than not taking that responsibility like so many do in America today.

A family is a drive we all have. If your drive is not there, take a look at what you have done to cause it. It is an innate drive we all have. This country was once great because of the family unit. There weren't many divorcees running around 200 years ago. It was frowned upon. Today it is commonplace and accepted it seems. This is not good for your health or for your country.

Lets communicate, be truthful, stay together and work hard at it and we'll turn things around.

Have a great night and better day!

Dr. Jeffrey J. West

Be Truly Well

Why I am doing this blog

Let's face it folks, things aren't pretty out there in the world. The economy is heading in the wrong direction as is our own health. Who out there is sick and tired of being sick, tired and in pain? The answer is obvious as I see it in my practice every day. A lot more people today are sick, tired and in pain than there were 13 years ago when I started practicing.

Autism was rare back then, now it is widespread. Allergies were rare, now they are everywhere. More and more money is spent every year on research for cancer, heart disease and stroke and every other disease under the sun and to what avail? We continue to have more cancer, more heart disease and more stroke and more DISEASE.

To do the same thing over and over and expect things to change is a sure sign of insanity.

Things NEED to change.

THINGS MUST CHANGE.

Good news folks, things are changing, but quietly, on the back page of the newspaper and magazines if it ever makes the media. There are solutions to EVERY ILL KNOWN TO MANKIND, but unfortunately, you won't hear it unless you do some digging.

In my life, you could say I was born for this path that I am on.

I grew up with a great family. It wasn't always perfect but it was a family. A father, a mother and a brother, cat and dog. Even that is hard to find today.

But that is about the only thing my childhood had in common with others at that time.

My grandmother on my father's side was the first one to tell me to eat garlic if I was sick.

We had apple trees in the yard, blueberry bushes and a 20'x40' garden. We lived in the country. We had a pond in the neighborhood and trees galore. We even had a pool in the backyard. Not bad for a school teacher dad and a secretary mom. They worked hard to give my brother and I a good life.

But WE HAD TO WORK FOR IT. Nothing came for free.

Those blueberries didn't just show up in my pancakes and cereal. I had to go pick them and of course eat them while picked them.

Same with the apples.

The apples fell to the ground in bushel loads. I had to go pick them up. Throw some at my brother and at the end of summer, throw all the rotten ones in the garden for fertilizer

That garden was something else too. I HATED it then, but when I went to college and bought my 1st store bought tomato, I recall calling my parents and asking desperately, what this red bitter thing with a white center was.

The tomatoes i grew up with were plump, juicy and sweet, and you could actually eat it off the vine. Zucchini were HUGE. We made Zucchini burgers with them!

My mom worked at a GNC store while I grew up. NOT COOL when it came time for Halloween or Easter. My chocolate was carob, YUCK!

When I got sick, my parent's took me to see Dr. Joel, the family Chiropractor.

1st time was when I was about 8.

I grew up north of Pittsburgh in the 70's. My hero was Lynn Swan, the Steeler's wide receiver. I would throw a football in the air and run and dive on the bed, or couch to catch it envisioning myself catching the winning pass.

One day, I dove for the ball and missed the bed and smack the headboard on my parents bed.

OUCH!!!

I was taken to see Dr. Joel.

No white coat, that was cool.

He told jokes. That was cool.

No needles. REALLY COOL! What kid likes needles???

I was a bit surprised by that "SNAP" he gave my neck and my ankle and my knee, but it sure felt better, almost immediately.

I visited him frequently growing up as I was so hyper active as a child that my dad suggested I play EVERY sport. So I did.

Dr. Joel was my buddy. He always got me out of a jam. Falling out of trees, flipping bikes, football, baseball, track, basketball. Injuries were part of my childhood.

I was even taken to see Dr. Joel when I got sick.

My mom wasn't too keen on me getting shots. Her relative contracted polio from the vaccine when she was growing up, so she questioned them. Dr. Joel would educate us about them too.

When I was sick, Dr. Joel would work on the sore spots on my chest. It was not comfortable at all, but I could breath when he was done, so I asked to go back whenever I got sick.

Gramma telling me to eat garlic, Dr. Joel giving me adjustments, eating organic food growing up. What an UNUSUAL life in the 70's and 80's.

Practically NO ONE else did what my family did and quite a few called us "WEIRD."

But when I compared myself and my family to those who ridiculed us, I noticed we were happier and healthier than them, so I didn't mind.

I had one bad injury in football, when a rather large player fell on my ankle, seconds after I jumped on a fumble. What a NOISE it made. A rather LOUD tearing sound. I couldn't walk on it at all. Best part was, I limped off the field and the coaches yelled to me, "GET BACK IN THERE WEST!", so I turned around and limped back on the field and played the rest of the game on 1 LEG!!

I couldn't walk the next day! And the ankle wouldn't heal correctly. I could walk on it in about 1 week and run shortly after, but when I planted my foot to turn, I would collapse in PAIN!! It stayed like this for 3 weeks! The team orthopedist told me that my ankle was fine and that, "You must be doing something wrong." YIKES! That was not fun to hear.

So back to Dr. Joel I went.

He was SO MAD that he wanted to call the Orthopedist and yell at him!

Anyway, he took my ankle, told me my ankle was misaligned, gave a pull and "POP!!"

Instantly, the foot blew up like a balloon. I thought he broke it, but in 3 days, the swelling was down and I gave it a try in gym class. I WAS SHOCKED! Not only could I run on it and turn on it but I could jump on it and dunk a volley ball.

Of course the gym teacher was the football coach, and thought I had been faking it this whole time, from what my friends said.

Regardless, my football career didn't go anywhere since that was my senior year, but it left a lasting impression on me that guided me to become a Doctor of Chiropractic and to look outside the norm for answers to life's questions.

So that is what this blog will be.

I will take you against the grain of life, to find answers to life's riddles.

We will touch on the topics of health and nutrition, disease, exercise, the mind (which is not a bunch of chemicals that get imbalanced) and many other topics that come up in the daily media.

Recent topics such as the Swine Flu, the Vaccine controversy and mental illness. How to take care of your body, the right way.

I'll teach you how I can get a person who has tried "everything" for their injury or illness and still suffers, get well again under my care.

I'll even talk to you about how to steer clear of "toxic" individuals in life. There are signs that these people show, behavior patterns, that mean a person is lying to you.

I've got a lot to say. I've studied the mind, the body and even the spirit for over 20 years. I've not only studied these areas, but I've tried EVERYTHING that I use with my patients and teach in my many seminars and lectures throughout Delaware, Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania.

I've done the research, the experiments, the blood, sweat and tears, so YOU the consumer don't have to.

So stay tuned for future blogs. I will tackle some tough issues and tell some fun and not so fun stories with you. I do have a beautiful being of a wife and 8 month old beauty of a daughter that deserve my time and my many patients that depend on me, but I will share my knowledge and experience with you, because we are all being misled out there and I can steer you out of the mess!

Sincerely,

Dr. Jeff

Be Truly Well

Be Truly Well: An Introduction to Dr. West

My name is Dr. Jeffrey West. I own a Chiropractic Center and Day Spa in Newark, Delaware called Be Truly Well Chiropractic and Day Spa. It has been my life's work to inform and educate people on the body, health and nutrition. That is what this blog is intended to do. I have written many articles and have lectured to thousands of people.

Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions you may have. What I teach is often controversial, but always informing and interesting.

Enjoy!